Age-gap relationships are not socially constructed, but have evolved.
To them, love transcends all boundaries and should not be overshadowed by minor details like age gap. This paper will consider the argument that age does not matter in a relationship. It will begin by giving reasons why age should not be considered when getting into a relationship as long as one of the partners is not a minor. It will end by giving an alternative view of the subject.
Age gap relations
According to The New York Times “The divorce rate for couples more than five years apart is precisely 18% as opposed to just 3% for couples with slim to no age gap.” Statistics show that these couples get divorced earlier than most couples. Even though a person is allowed to date whoever they want because age is just a number, any more than ten years apart can cause major problems in a relationship, because the relationship is more fragile. The larger the age gap the higher the divorce rate.
Love may be blind but, the New York Post says “The rate rises to 39% for a ten year age difference, and 95 % for a twenty year age gap” (MarketWatch). Not only that, but later on in life when the couple gets older it becomes more of
I am less interested in these arguments (bicker away, friends) than in what they elide. These are debates that seem to concern power, but are often incapable of addressing patriarchy, in a moment when patriarchy is having a real comeback. These are debates that nod at men’s economic and political advantages, but reduce those advantages to matters of life experience, as if those same structural inequalities do not also harm women in same-age heterosexual relationships or—if they do—as if those harms are so minor that they’re best viewed under the magnifying glass of an age-gap couple where the disparities may be more pronounced. We’re mincing birthdates and engaging in borderline-phrenological brain science in search of some magic number in which all inequalities are voided, all risks mitigated, all structural violences voided.
The Relationships Between Age Gaps.
Relationships, like love come in a variety of forms. It is not uncommon to find two people of different generations falling in love. There are those who argue that age gaps in relationships matter. Yet there are those who believe that age is insignificant.
Emphasis on age gap can lead to a situation in which two people who belong to the same age bracket enter into a dysfunctional relationship. Compatibility in a relationship is superior to age difference (Drefahl 318). People who intend to have a serious relationship ought to focus on trust. It is like glue in a relationship. Without trust, many relationships may not survive the test of time.
In a recent study there was more couples where the man was older than the women in current relationships. The older spouse has to be concerned whether or not the younger spouse has the maturity to understand the needs of their other, and how to take care of them in a time of need. Also their mind set, and where they're at mentally. It can be very difficult to get on the same level with someone who does not have the same mentality.
Peggy Giordano once said “ Girls tend to be more mature in relationships because of the intimate bonds they commonly develop with same-sex peers. Female maturity, both emotional and physical, is often two years ahead of their same age male counterparts, the study said. Teen boys also expressed less confidence in navigating relationships than girls of the same age” (Dunbar). In order to be in an age gap relationship they need to be confident that the relationship will work out for the best
However, love is almost always considered to be an important part of a relationship. This may be because love is linked to other aspects of a relationship like respect and responsibility. Those in love are more likely to respect their partners. Therefore, age gap should not be emphasized because it does not contribute to the development of desirable qualities. Age gap consideration cannot replace love and respect.
Why does age gap matter in a relationship?
Divorce rates are also increased as the age gap is increased. “A five-year age gap statistically means you’re 18 percent more likely to divorce (versus just 3 percent with a 1-year age difference), and that rate rises to 39 percent for a 10-year age difference and 95 percent for a 20-year age gap.”(Fottrell).There is no evidence that anything other than wide age differences increase the likelihood of splitting up – more than 10 years, and the younger partner is more likely to be unhappy than in more standard relationships. Typically, relationships with wider age gaps are more prevalent among poorer, less well-educated couples, and in certain ethnic communities. Couples who differ widely in age are also more likely to cohabit than marry. The
An Exploration of Age-Gap Relationships in the United States.
There is a boy out there who knows how to floss because my friend taught him. Now he kisses college girls with fresh breath. A boy married to my friend who doesn’t know how to pack his own suitcase. She “likes to do it for him.” A million boys who know how to touch a woman, who go to because they were pushed, who learned fidelity, boundaries, decency, manners, to use a top sheet and act humanely beneath it, to call their mothers, match colors, bring flowers to a funeral and inhale, exhale in the face of rage, because some girl, some girl we know, some girl they probably don’t speak to and will never, ever credit, took the time to teach him. All while she was working, raising herself, clawing up the cliff-face of adulthood. Hauling him at her own expense.
I Have an Age-Gap Marriage, and My Parents Do, Too
The selection happens subconsciously in most cases. However, focus on age gap is a conscious undertaking that requires energy. Generally, many people select their partners based on character and not age gap between them. People with a significant age gap may have complementary characters. If the characters are complementary, the individuals should be able to function in a relationship.
Age Gap Relationships: The Case for Marrying an Older Man
The depends on its obviousness. The greater and more visible the difference in years and status between a man and a woman, the more it strikes others as transactional. Transactional thinking in relationships is both as American as it gets and the least kosher subject in the American romantic lexicon. When a 50-year-old man and a 25-year-old woman walk down the street, the questions form themselves inside of you; they make you feel cynical and obscene: How good of a deal is that? Which party is getting the better one? Would I take it? He is older. Income rises with age, so we assume he has money, at least relative to her; at minimum, more connections and experience. She has supple skin. Energy. Sex. Maybe she gets a Birkin. Maybe he gets a baby long after his prime. The sight of their entwined hands throws a lucid light on the calculations each of us makes, in love, to varying degrees of denial. You could get married in the most romantic place in the world, like I did, and you would still have to sign a contract.